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Priest and His Baby
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try." he says.
So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this."
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says,
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,
"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".
The Queen's Breasts
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.
Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this
reason.
He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death
should he try
to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague,
Horatio
the Physician, the King's chief doctor.. Horatio thought
about this and
said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his
desire, but
it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and
poured a
little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew
intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this
incident,
Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special
saliva, if
applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and
that tests
had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the
antidote to
cure the itch.
The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to
their
chambers.. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the
itching
powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four
hours,
Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and
magnificent breasts.
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left
satisfied and
hailed as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding
his
payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now
satisfied, Nick couldn't
have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this
matter to
the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same
itching
powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately
summoned Nick.
The moral of the story - Pay your bloody bills !!!
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