If you’re a middle-aged single woman who happens to own a
cat (or even a few cats), you don’t have to be pigeonholed into the old “cat
lady” adage. With an increasing number of women choosing to live an independent
lifestyle, having a cat provides the same benefits of pet ownership but without
the more dependent entanglements associated with having a dog or other high
commitment companion animal. Although the “cat lady” stereotype prevails, you
can still have a cat and not be a cat lady.
Typically a cat lady, while middle-aged and single, owns so
many cats that is considered to be a case of animal hoarding. Cat ladies tend
not to have enough property to safely care for numerous cats either, or they
bundle the cats into one room or small area for all time. So, if you live on a
farm or several acres of land, or have a large house and yard, you can
definitely own several cats and not be thought of as a cat lady.
Cat ladies also tend to have no boundaries between human and
animal interaction. Often a cat lady will refer to her cats as her “children”
and make social and even financial decisions based on how it will impact her
cats. However, this is a trait shared by many pet lovers, viewing their pets in
the role of children and while it may cause some people to dismiss you, there
will be many other pet lovers who support this attitude toward a pet. What
probably matters most is how you demonstrate this affection for your
cats when talking to other people.Do you currently model any cat lady behavior?
Think about how you live your life––do you talk excessively about your cats and
refer to them as your babies? Do you bring up the most tedious details about
your cats when socializing or at work? Do you avoid social situations such as
dating or having an evening with friends to be at home with the cats, fearing
they'll be lonely or sad without you? Do you keep numerous photos of your cats
on your desk at work, perhaps even a huge wall collage of them? If you answered
“yes” to any of these questions, you may be treading dangerously close to cat
lady territory. It's time to make changes before you go to the dark side!
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Of course you love and adore your kitty; however, your cat
sees you as his owner or companion and not as his mother. This is important to
keep in mind because you will most likely outlive the animal. Thinking of the
cat as anything more than just a pet not only puts you in cat lady territory,
it can send you into a deep depression once the animal passes away.
Reduce the number of framed photos of your cat around your
home or on your desk. It’s okay to maintain a small framed photo of your cat on
your desk at work or on the entrance table at home, but having multiple framed
photos screams “I’m a cat lady.”
Choose to be social over staying home with the kitty. The
reason why having a cat is wonderful is that he doesn’t need to be walked or
even taken to the bathroom. Cats are very content being on their own for long
hours––capitalize on that fact and go out instead of staying home to cuddle up
to your furry friend. He’ll understand if you ditch him for a hot date.
Your cat should have things to do while you're out, such as
toys to play with. It's also a good idea to have two cats, so that they can
amuse each other and not feel lonely.
If you've chosen a Siamese or similar breed that can't abide
being left alone and attaches to a single human, you're probably going to find
leaving him much harder. In this case, it is highly advisable to have another
cat or to get a pet-sitter when you're out for long hours. This type of cat is
best in a household where someone is always around, so if that's not your case,
be sure to get him a pal.
Avoid talking about your cat when on a date or with friends.
If your cat did something extremely funny or cute, by all means tell friends
about it once, and only now and then. But, for example, if a friend is telling
a story about what her baby did the other day, don’t butt in with a story about
your cat. It will sound like you are comparing your cat to your friend’s
baby––total cat lady behavior.
Stop at two cats. As hard as that may sound, anyone who owns
more than two cats is surpassing the title of “pet owner” and entering into the
“pet collector” zone. In some cases you may be able to get away with possibly
three or four cats at most, if you live on a large property or if there are
extenuating circumstances such as a rescue situation. Beyond this, you're
creating a cat colony and all the hassles, smells, mess and whispered rumors
that come with that.
Never dress your cats in clothing or costumes. Unless you
want to be a cat lady, don’t buy, make or accept gifts of clothing to dress up
your cat. Even on Halloween, resist the angel cat Halloween costume. The same
goes for your wardrobe. Any cat t-shirts or sweaters need to hit the Goodwill
pile ASAP.
The only exception to this is for health reasons directed by
your vet, such as a blanket coat or an Elizabethan collar to stop scratching or
biting. These are medical aids, not fashion accessories.
Spay or neuter your cats. Contribute to the solution
and have your animals neutered when they are young. Part of the problem with a
society overrun by domestic animals is that pet owners don’t spay or neuter
their animals. And a cat lady often uses the excuse that cats deserve their fun
and that removing their sexuality is cruel. Having too many unloved kittens
around is cruel. Part of not being a cat lady is being a responsible pet owner.
Realize that some detractors may be jealous of the
implications of your lifestyle––you're free to make your own choices, your cats
aren't telling you how to behave or what to do all the time and you have
non-judgmental companionship.
